| Season 4, Episode 8 (45th overall) | |
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| Air date | May 6, 2000 |
| Length | |
| Written by | Michael Rubiner |
| Directed by | Mark Marek |
| Previous | Timeless! |
| Next | Going the Extra Mile! |
| Previous | The Best of Both Worlds |
| Next | Now With More Flava'! |
"The KaBlair! Witch Project" (S4E5 on Paramount+) is the eighth episode of the fourth season, and 45th overall, of KaBlam!.
Synopsis[]
Henry and June are with the rest of the KaBlam! gang on an outdoor adventure. However, when they all hear a roaring creature on the approach, a frightened Mr. Foot drives away in the camper, leaving everyone else behind!
In JetCat, Jetcat pursues Vicki von Vermin, an unspecified insect-like pest with an Eastern European accent, after she turns Tod into a weremoth.
During Action League Now!, information stored in the Flesh's brain (in order to keep it away from a new villain known as Smarty Pants) results in him gaining immense intellectuality! But as soon as the transportation takes place, the Action League realizes how much they dislike the new, smarter Flesh. Once Smarty Pants successfully gets his hands on the League and holds them hostage, it's up to the Flesh to rescue them, and only winning a game of chess will do the job for his opponent!
In Life with Loopy, Loopy accidentally sells her father at a yard sale, so she must get him back from two aliens that bought him.
Segments[]
Henry and June Act 1
JetCat
Henry and June Act 2
Action League Now!
Henry and June Act 3
Henry and June Act 4
Life with Loopy
Henry and June Act 5
Henry and June Act 1 | |
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Henry and June welcome everyone to a "plumbing-free" episode of KaBlam!, where they are live from the great outdoors on an annual corporate retreat. Henry explains that the network suits make everyone go on them to build "team spirit," but June says that's fancy talk for "free vacation." Henry's mom sprays him with insect repellent and ruins his brand new, six-pocket safari shirt. June smirks, but Henry says he didn't ask her to come. Meanwhile, Jimmy McGee and Fred Stockdale are putting together a tent, and Stockdale thinks he hasn't felt this good since his Army days; give him a shovel and a roll of TP, and he's ready to bivouac! Jimmy admits he's not much of a nature fan himself, as he's seen too many episodes of When Animals Go Berserk. Stockdale tells him not to worry, as they've got Mr. Foot in their corner, who is splitting wood for a campfire. Suddenly, everyone hears a roar as a frightened Mr. Foot drives off in the camper, leaving everyone else behind. June worries about the camper, Lois is worried about the food, while Henry worries about his brand new vortex sleeping bag with polar fleece lining! Everyone clings together as June tells them not to make any sudden moves, as JetCat may calm down their unwanted guest. |
JetCat | |
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Tod and Melanie watch on television an interview of the actor who stars in the new Jumbo Head movie. Melanie thinks he'll never be Jumbo Head to her, but Tod bets that she wishes she attended the premiere anyway. Suddenly, the television is infiltrated by "vane" villain Vicki von Vermin, who says Oddville continues to ignore her, but they shouldn't ignore her device that will demolish the Bug Zapper Factory with one press of the button! She is sure this will attract Jetcat and when she is destroyed, everyone will know Vicki's name. Melanie transforms into Jetcat and flies off to stop Vicki, but Tod wants to come as well, knowing Vicki is pretty puny and he could take her. Jetcat says it's dangerous and Vicki is tougher than she looks, but Tod disagrees! Vicki zaps an innocent-looking glass of milk with her Motorizer Ray. When Jetcat takes one sip of the milk, she will be transformed into a moth and have the powers to fly right into a bug zapper! Jetcat then arrives into the Oddville Bug Zapper Factory and Vicki urges her to get closer to the glass of milk. Jetcat sees it, but isn't going to fall for her "lame" trap. Vicki says it's not lame; it's genius! Tod is able to climb inside the factory, until he sees the glass of milk and, unaware of its consequences, drinks it. Jetcat finds Tod, but it's too late as he transforms into a moth and flies into the bug zappers. Jetcat trails Tod to stop him, as Vicki thinks what is taking place isn't so bad after all. Tod heads towards a king-sized bug zapper, but realizing there is no time, Jetcat pulls down a lever to turn all of the zappers off. Vicki then gets a "bright idea," seeing the spotlights at the nearby Jumbo Head movie premiere. Planning to destroy Jetcat, her "annoying friend" and the movie premiere all at once, she will be extra famous! Tod flies towards the spotlights and Jetcat follows behind, while Vicki rides her pocket bike out of the factory and tries to beat the rush-hour traffic. Arriving at the premiere, Jetcat grabs a reporter's microphone cable and wraps Tod up in it to prevent him from going anywhere, while she then looks for Vicki. The press questions Jetcat about the monster and if the public is safe, as well as if it has anything to do with Vicki von Vermin. Jetcat assures them there is no connection between Vicki and the "big moth" in any way. She thinks Tod just changed into a moth all on his own and has no idea how it happened. Vicki pleads that the moth boy was her creation, although Jetcat is sure it will pass, thinking it must have been something he ate. Vicki says only she can change Tod back, before getting trapped in a jar. Jetcat says that's good news for Vicki, unless she gets a thrill out of being squished. Now inside the theater to see the premiere of Jumbo Head, Tod says it's not often he gets to be a cool giant moth and next time, Melanie shouldn't be so quick to spoil his fun. Melanie digresses, as Tod was about to cream it himself, and he does see her point, but he could have her sidekick Moth Boy! Melanie thinks Tod would be a "useless" sidekick, but they have a good laugh over that as the premiere is about to begin. |
Henry and June Act 2 | |
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Henry, June, Jimmy McGee, Fred Stockdale and Lois cling together while they prepare for the worst. Stockdale thinks it sounds like a whole panzer division, encouraging "sea company" to fall back! Henry is frustrated that everyone is about to be grizzly meat, as the network executive is having an Army flashback. Stockdale then orders Henry to get on the blower and radio for air cover, before the grizzly bear appears and scares everyone. However, Lois isn't fazed, saying she doesn't like his manners, scaring him away. Despite that problem being taken care of, Jimmy complains that they're still stuck without the camper, but Lois assures him that Mr. Foot will be back. Jimmy says in her dreams, but Lois doesn't like his tone, before Henry calls for a timeout. While they may have lost all their stuff, he still has his GPS Personal Navigator 12000. Stockdale, thinking it's a grenade, grabs it out of Henry's hand and throws it off a cliff, destroying it. Henry is irate, but Stockdale says there's no need to thank him. Since it looks like they're going to be here for a while, June recommends everyone enjoy a new Action League Now!, turning the page. |
Action League Now! | |
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A Flesh of Brilliance One night at the Living Room Repository of Knowledge, the priceless records of human thought are pilfered by the evil genius, Smarty Pants. Smarty Pants says that once he steals all of the books and CDs, all of the world's knowledge will be his! Bill the Lab Guy has heard about Smarty Pants' swiping spree and, with the help of the Action League, hides the rest of the world's knowledge in the last place anyone would think to look...the Flesh's brain. The Flesh is tied to a table and a transference helmet is placed on his head. He thinks the helmet is a party hat and wonders if it's his birthday again! Bill then turns on the machine, and the knowledge is placed in the Flesh's brain. The Chief and Bill check on the Flesh and see if their plan was a success. It was, as the Flesh is now smart, assuring them that Madison is the capital of Wisconsin and asks if anyone is up for a game of chess! At Action Headquarters, Thundergirl, Stinky Diver, Meltman and Justice are harnessing the Flesh's new brain power. The Chief is curious about what's going on, as the Flesh tells them that he has successfully programmed the VCR (much to their approval), to record nothing but the History Channel (much to their disappointment). The Chief then tells the League to cut the chatter, as Smarty Pants is out there and they've "gotta" stop him. The Flesh corrects the Chief as there is no such word in the English language as "gotta." The Chief isn't amused, telling the Flesh to stay at headquarters, as they can't put his knowledge at risk. The Flesh approves and is a step ahead, as to stay in touch they can communicate through radios, which he built from a kit he ordered via the internet. The Chief takes one of the radios and tells everyone to move out, and the Flesh once more corrects his grammar by never ending a sentence with a preposition. The Chief is frustrated, and asks everyone else if they liked the Flesh better when he was an idiot, and they all agree. Later, at Dad's Study National Archives, the Chief wants Thundergirl, Stinky, and Meltman quieter than a "mute mouse at a monastery" until the Flesh communicates on the radio to correct the Chief's grammar again. The Chief yells in frustration, but this attracts the attention of Smarty Pants, who is on top of the bookcase and programs his robot on the shelf below to push the books, which land on the League. Later, at Smarty Pants' hideout, the Chief, Thundergirl, Stinky, and Meltman are trapped in a net hung above a blender. Meltman asks Smarty Pants why they're in the net, and he states it simply so their tiny brains can comprehend; they are going to be destroyed, obliterated, pulverized, expunged, bragging about his good vocabulary! He then turns on the blender as the Chief admits they hid the world's knowledge in a place Smarty Pants will never find. Just then, the Flesh appears, and Smarty Pants traps him in a cage. The Chief is disappointed, as he told the Flesh to stay at headquarters, but he wonders what good is having all the whole world's knowledge when he can't show it off to anyone. Smarty Pants asks if the "nattering nabob" is their so-called repository of knowledge, and then quizzes the Flesh about the capital of Ohio. He correctly guesses Columbus, and Smarty Pants knows that he underestimated the Flesh, wondering if a game of chess will prove which of them has the superior intellect. The Flesh likes this idea and decides to propose a wager; if he wins, Smarty Pants has to set everyone free. If Smarty Pants wins, all of the world's knowledge is his. One hour later, the Flesh appears to be in the lead, as Smarty Pants' king is in grave danger. Smarty Pants observes that the Flesh plays very well, but he's not finished. He presses the button on the clock, which launches a pawn that lands on the Flesh's head, knocking all of the knowledge out of his brain! Smarty Pants is satisfied, but the rest of the League is terrified! Smarty Pants tells the Flesh that his time is running out and to move a piece, or the League will be lowered into the blender. The Flesh sees his knight and, mistaking it for a horse, wants to ride it. As he jumps on it, he accidentally pushes his queen towards Smarty Pants' king. This causes the Flesh to win the chess game, and Smarty Pants grieves over having lost to a moron! Later that day, after the League is set free and Smarty Pants is arrested, the League works to return the books and CDs to where they belong. The Chief says it's good to have the old Flesh back, and Stinky couldn't agree more. The Flesh likes his "horsey," knocking it into a worker that is holding a rope some of the books are tied in which land on the rest of the League, as Stinky has second thoughts. |
Henry and June Act 3 | |
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Henry thinks Action League Now! is funny stuff...but he's too hungry to laugh. Jimmy McGee says they're all going to starve to death, but Fred Stockdale believes the "grizzlies" may get everyone first. Lois assumes Mr. Foot isn't ever coming back, as Henry cries out for food! June then asks everyone, if they could quit their whining for two seconds, to try a piece of a pie she made. Henry wonders where she got it, and June says that as a decorated member of the Logfire Girls, she knows a thing or two about wilderness survival. June explains that the woods are full of edible berries, but one has to be careful to only eat the blue ones with the red spots. Suddenly, Jimmy complains that he doesn't feel so good, and June wonders if it's the red ones with the blue spots one is supposed to eat. Jimmy then runs off to hurl, as Lois, Henry and Stockdale all do so as well. June now remembers why she got kicked out of the Logfire Girls, as she turns the page in embarrassment. |
Henry and June Act 4 | |
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Henry writes in a diary at the 22nd minute of the group's wilderness nightmare and he doesn't know how much longer they can hold out. Henry looks across the faces of his brave, yet doomed companions, before June spots a plane! Jimmy McGee tells Henry to give him a boost up a tree, as he'll signal the plane with his medallion. Lois complains that Jimmy is hurting Henry, while Fred Stockdale needs room to signal, the old-fashioned way. June builds a campfire and says for her to handle it, as she's a former Logfire Girl! Henry has an idea to use his water-resistant, pull cord flare, shooting it upwards but inadvertently aims for Jimmy, sending him out of the tree and landing on everyone else, as the plane flies away. The group argues with each other over their failure, before Stockdale's phone rings. Angered, he answers it and says he's in a meeting, throwing it (which breaks), and thinks those darn things are always going off at the worst possible time while Henry, June, Lois and Jimmy look on at the destroyed phone as it catches fire. Henry and June tell Stockdale they could have been rescued, but he wonders if they are lost or something. Henry rubs his eyes in frustration, while June turns the page to Life with Loopy. |
Life with Loopy | |
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"Bargain Hunters from Beyond the Stars" Larry says people often wonder what his sister, Loopy, is going to be when she grows up. An astrophysicist? A brain surgeon? After Larry saw her at the yard sale the weekend before, he thinks she is going to sell used cars. When it comes to wheeling and dealing, Loopy is the "cut-price queen." By lunchtime at the sale, she sold just about everything. Loopy says all the haggling made her hungry, and Mom prepares a plate, while wondering where Dad is. Larry recalls him being out front, taking a nap in the recliner. Loopy says she just sold that recliner to a couple of guys in overcoats, and Mom is worried that Dad was sold, too! Loopy says not to worry, as she'll go buy him back. Running into downtown, she finds the two guys in overcoats, who just so happen to be two aliens and their transportation is a UFO! Loopy is able to cling to it before it takes off into space. The aliens, Zotne and Boprap, are happy that they scored the genuine Earthian recliner, plus a bonus item being Loopy's dad! He wakes up and wonders if it's Halloween already, telling Zotne and Boprap they really need to clean the place up a little, as there's no point in putting off till tomorrow what they can do today. Zotne and Boprap admit he speaks words of great wisdom and think he must be a philosopher amongst his people; quite the deal for just eight bucks! Loopy tells the discount dummies to slow down as it's not a bargain, it's just her dad. She didn't mean to sell him, so she gives them back their money. However, Zotne and Boprap refuse since where they come from, a deal is a deal. Loopy pleads it's her dad, so they will make an exception. Zotne and Boprap leave for a yard sale on Neptune at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. If Loopy can find a worthy trade item, then they can talk the turkey. However, they warn that the item better be good, and Dad starts telling stories to them. Loopy visits a mall, wondering what one can get for the alien that has got everything. She sees a washing machine, and thinks it's perfect, as it must be tough keeping one's underwear clean on those long space voyages. Loopy tells the vendor inside that she'll buy the washing machine. He's pleased and asks if she'll be paying by debit or major credit card, as Loopy offers her junior membership to the Yo-Yo Club. However, she gets tossed out and guesses the salesman is not a big yo-yo fan. Loopy's dad continues to tell stories to Zotne and Boprap, while she comes back home and thinks the aliens would need "entertainment" on their long space voyage, making a call to Madonna, who hangs up. Loopy tries to call Siegfried and Roy, but they are occupied. Now close to being out of time, Loopy takes a look in the mirror and knows what she has to do. After being beamed up by Spotty, Loopy tells Zotne and Boprap to get it over with. However, they are relieved so Loopy can take her dad back! Loopy says they might be able to make that deal. Larry explains that Dad is back home who talks Mom's ear off about Zotne and Boprap, while Loopy, being the shrewd businesswoman she is, even got them to throw in a little extra on the deal; their spaceship. Loopy can't wait to get her driver's license now! |
Henry and June Act 5 | |
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The group continues to complain, but Lois tells everyone else she knows there's a way out of here, just before they see a river and give up hope. Fred Stockdale thinks it's been one heck of a ride, but every man's time must come. June reminds the group about what the whole trip was about in the first place; "team spirit." She says they're going to cross that river, and they're going to do it as a team! Stockdale thinks June is right, and Henry agrees! Jimmy McGee calls everyone together for a "Jimmy hug," but the rest of the group shakes in fright. June crosses the river first and helps guide everyone else over. Henry goes next, despite almost losing his pants from a snapping turtle. Jimmy and Lois then go together (as she slaps his hand after he tries to hold onto hers), and Stockdale goes last, trying to challenge everyone else to a game of tug of war with the rope, but the group isn't amused and drags him across the river. Henry is excited they made it, and Jimmy is proud they did it as a team! Suddenly, everyone hears a car horn honking, and it just so happens to be Mr. Foot on the opposite side of the river with the camper. Jimmy thinks it is June's fault, but Lois tells him to leave her alone! Stockdale gets involved in the argument too, and the three of them fight. Displeased, June thinks so much for "team spirit" and Henry says they'll see the viewers next time, closing the comic book. |
Characters[]
Henry and June[]
- Henry
- June
- Mr. Foot
- Fred Stockdale
- Lois
- Jimmy McGee
- Grizzly bear
- Sneaky orange fox
JetCat[]
- Melanie McKay
- Tod Johnson
- Vicki von Vermin
- Reporters
- Premiere attendees
Action League Now![]
- The Flesh
- Thundergirl
- Stinky Diver
- Meltman
- The Chief
- Smarty Pants
- Smarty Pants' Robot
- Bill the Lab Guy
- Justice
Life with Loopy[]
- Loopy Cooper
- Larry Cooper
- Mrs. Cooper
- Mr. Cooper
- Yard Sale attendees
- Zotne
- Boprap
- Washing machine vendor
Trivia[]
- Final KaBlam! appearances of JetCat and Life with Loopy.
- The episode title is a wordplay of the 1999 supernatural horror film The Blair Witch Project.
- The grizzly bear roaring in the second Henry and June segment is actually the roar of a lion, most famously used for the early "Leo the Lion" Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer logo.